Blogdotes

Muslims of the world !!! Beware!!!

Major American conspiracy against you is underway:

First, Avian Flu will kill all the birds. And there will be no poultry left. Then, Mad Cow desease will kill all cows. And there will be no beef left.

And then, the only thing left to eat, will be pork !!!!

A young guy was walking in the woods and got lost. He walked around for hours and hours and finally saw a small cabin. An old Chinese man lived in the cabin, with a daughter. The guy asked to spend a night in there. Chinese man agreed, but warned the guy that he shouldn’t even think of touching the man’s daughter.
“If you do not heed my warning, you will be subjected to a 3 terrible Chinese tortures”, said the old man.
But old Chinaman’s daughter was a very beautiful girl. The guy couldn’t take his eyes off her for the whole evening. And he saw that the daughter also was very interested in him. She was flirting with him from the distance all this time.
However, fearing the old man’s threat, the guy stood firm. Late in the evening everyone went to sleep, but the guy’s head was buzzing from thoughts about this most beautiful girl he ever saw. He couldn’t sleep. He heard the old man snoring loudly for an hour now, and decided to take his chances.
The guy got up and silently sneaked into the girl’s bedroom. He had a wonderful night. After a few hours the guy silently got back to his bed. The old man was snoring even more loudly and the guy went to sleep. The next morning he woke up, feeling that something hard was pressing his chest. There was a big big stone on his chest, with a note:
“Chinese torture No. 1”. The cabin was empty.
“Hmm…No big deal.” thought the guy. He was a strong man and managed to get the stone from his chest. He went to the window and threw the stone down. Then he saw another note:
“Chinese torture No 2. This stone is tightly tied to one of your balls.”
The guy looked down and cried: “Oh sh@#$ !!”. Surely, there was a rope coming from the stone on it’s way down, and going to his balls. He saw that the rope will soon start ripping…
Without much more thinking and only one consideration in his mind: “I’d better break some bones, then loose this valuable part of my body,” he jumped out of the window.
And then he saw another note:
“Chinese torture No. 3. The rest of your private parts are tightly tied to the bed….”

A French guy comes to church for confession.
“Bless me farther, for I have sinned.”
“Tell me more, my son.”
”During the occupation, in World War II, I’ve hidden a Jew in my cellar.”
“That is a good deed, not a sin, my son.”
“But that is not all, farther. I made him pay me 100 franks a day, to stay there.”
“Well, that is a sin. But not a big one. I see that you regret it, so I forgive you. Go and sin no more.”
“Thank you, farther. God bless you”
“Farther?”
“Yes, my son?”
“Now that I confessed to my sins, should I tell him, that the war is over?”

Discussion between bra and panties:

Bra: You know, the last few days were terrible. Not a moment of peace. I was teared down, bitten, stretched and squeezed all the time. It must have been a hard time for you too?

Panties: Oh no. I had a very peaceful weekend.

Bra: Really?

Panties: Oh yeah. It was a very calm weekend in the handbag.

Heh,

It’s not a joke but still a dangerous time waister. Lost an hour and still can not get over 18 seconds.

See if you can do any better: Escapa!