Blogdotes

Awesome blond joke:
You can find it here

A guy walks into the pharmacy and says:
“Give me one condom.”
“Just one?” asks the pharmacist
“Yeah, today I’m having a dinner with my new girlfriend at her place.”
He thinks for a while and changes his mind:
“Oh, she has a cute sister. Okay, give me two.”
“Two?”
“Well, her mother also has a great looks. Give me three, just in case.”
Later that evening he comes to her place and has a dinner with a family. However, he turns red from the beginning and keeps quiet for the whole evening. After the dinner he takes her for a walk.
“What’s the matter with you today?” asks she.
“You never told me that your dad works at the pharmacy…”

A wealthy computer businessman sees an advertisement on the Internet for the world’s fastest and most expensive car: the Tri-Turbo Convertible Fantasy. It sells for $1 million. The executive decides he must have it. So he has eight of his most talented assistants assigned to tracking down the vehicle. After months of searching, the car is located, bought and delivered. Eager to play with his new toy the executive takes it out for a spin.

At the first stoplight an old man looking about 85 years old rides up to the Fantasy on an old Vespa. The old man sticks his head inside without waiting for an invitation and says, “Quite a ride you got here, sonny. How fast will she go?”
“About 270”, the executive responds.
“Come on”, says the old man

Just then the light turns green and the executive decides to show the old man what the car can do. He floors it and within seconds the car is doing 270. But suddenly he notices in his rearview mirror a dot that seems to be getting closer and closer, and so he comes to a stop. Then Whoooooooosh, “The thing” goes flying by.

“What in the heck was that”, says the executive. “What can go faster than my Fantasy?”

Suddenly “the thing” comes racing back towards him and Whoooooosh, passes right by. This time the executive got a better look and so help him, it looked like the old man on the Vespa. “That just couldn’t be“, he says to himself. Then, through his rearview mirror, he sees it again. All of the sudden, WHAM! It smashes into the back end of the car.

The executive jumps out, and sure enough, it’s the old man on the Vespa that crashed into him.
“Are you OK?” asked the executive. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Yes,” replied the old man, “unhook my suspender from your side-view mirror, please”

This joke comes from: The Friars Club Encyclopaedia of Jokes: 2,000 One-Liners, Straight Lines, Stories, Gags, Roasts, Ribs and Put-Downs

A gorgeous woman approaches young man on the street:
“Excuse me, I think you are the farther of one of my kids”
“ME ?!?!!!” asks shocked guy.
“Oh…. I’m sorry. I’m just his teacher…”